The following reflection originally appeared in the newsletter I sent out on November 9th, 2024.

Feel free to read just the bold words and skip the rest.

 

Introduction

One of the basic Buddhist trainings, found in the Five Precepts, is to abstain from intoxicants that cloud the mind and lead to unskillful behavior.   Personally, I hold the Precepts less as  “rules” or “commandments,” and more as guidelines of the wise — aka, shortcuts to a life of deeper fulfillment.

Traditionally speaking, an intoxicant is an alcoholic drink or drug.  However, while there is good reason the primary emphasis is “drugs and alcohol,” we can also “intoxicate” ourselves with the unmindful consumption of caffeine, sugar, social media, sex, certain types of conversations, movies, or even books, among other things.

Nonetheless, for the sake of simplicity, I will mostly focus today on “drugs and alcohol.”

What follows is my personal intoxicant story, an interesting alcohol instruction from a Buddhist monk, pointers for investigation, thoughts on psychedelics, and a challenge!

 

A Personal Story

When I went to college, I was quickly pulled into a social circle of heavy drinking.  Even though I had a steady job, got good grades, and maintained many fulfilling relationships, I far surpassed any clinical metric of alcoholism.

For one year, I also smoked marijuana nearly every day, but quickly lost interest in that substance.  Some other drugs occasionally snuck in there, but it was mostly just alcohol that dominated my evenings.

As college progressed, I started becoming very excited about life, happiness, healthy living, intentional relationships, spirituality, and so on.  I read prolifically on self-help in my free time, bought my groceries at a natural foods co-op, and learned how to meditate and practice yoga.

There was a growing incongruence with my drinking habit and the rest of my life.

I was also starting to more acutely feel what I called, “an existential void.” It was some feeling of apathy, being lost, meaninglessness, and so on.  I didn’t really know what it was about, but I had a sense all the drinking wasn’t helping.

After I graduated, I moved to Mexico to work on social justice projects, but on a deeper layer, I moved for a fresh start, to discover myself, and to break free from some bad habits.  Over that year, I dramatically cut back on my drinking.  Toward the end, I did my first one-month no-drinking experiment.

Over the next few years, as I engaged more seriously in yoga and meditation, I became a responsible drinker, never having more than two drinks in a day, and would pretty much only drink microbrews, which I enjoyed independent of intoxication.

In August 2012, on the eve of beginning what was to become a four-year spiritual journey, I went out for pizza with a friend, ordered a pale ale, and halfway through it, I said, “ya know, I don’t think I’m going to drink again for a while.”

I wouldn’t say I “quit” drinking, but in that moment, I noted a lack of desire to drink, and it has literally never returned.  I haven’t drank alcohol since that day.

The reasons why are detailed below, but as a shorthand, those four years of intensive spiritual practice showed me just how profoundly preferable sobriety is to intoxication.

 

Exploring Your Relationship to Intoxicants

While there is wisdom in outright quitting drugs and alcohol, if it’s already a part of your lifestyle and you use them “responsibly,” I think it’s really interesting and wisdom-inducing to start paying attention to the experience of intoxication.

For starters, what motivates you to use intoxicants?  More specifically, what leads to wanting to have a glass of wine (or bottle!) after work?  A puff of marijuana on a Friday night?  Two hours on Instagram or a box of cookies in one sitting?

When I reflect deeply, I see four primary motivators:

• Get away from icky feelings, like pain, fear, loneliness, anxiety, or depression.
• Feel pleasure or relief, like unwinding, relaxing, or loosening inhibitions. Maybe the intoxicant offers a period of bliss or a peak experience.
• Habit, like mindlessly consuming them because “that’s just what we do.”   At the stronger levels, it’s a hard-to-ignore compulsion that we might call an addiction.
• Social reasons, like to fit in, be “normal,” or be more “oneself” in social situations.

Maybe for you, it’s one of the above.  Maybe it’s something different.  Check it out for yourself!

Similarly, what do you notice happens while intoxicated?  What are the after-effects?

I certainly noticed that I fulfilled some of those above motivators, like getting away from icky feelings, experiencing pleasure/relief, and feeling social belonging.  However, there were noticeable side effects.

Three of the specific things I observed that led to the desire fading were:

• The mind felt cloudier.  Reality was less sharp and vivid.  I felt more sluggish and lethargic.  It was harder to know what I was feeling.
• I made poorer life choices.  I would eat french fries instead of a salad.  I was more likely to watch shows instead of read/meditate.  I was less responsible with my money.  I was more likely to oversleep.
• My ethics became looser.  This was more true during my heavy drinking days, but I was more likely to speak falsely, harshly, or divisively.  I had less respect for property.  I was looser with my sexual energy.  It feels like I was a less safe and trustworthy person.

While the poorer life choices and loose ethics happened only while intoxicated, I realized once I stopped drinking that the cloudy mind / lethargic body actually stuck around even when I wasn’t drinking, like my baseline state was just cloudier than is nowadays.

Anyhow, all of that was my experience.  Maybe you notice something different.  Maybe it has beneficial impacts for you without any side effects, or maybe the side effects feel minimal and worth it.  Notice that!

However, if intoxicants do seem beneficial, I would be curious about why that is. For example, if you feel more relaxed and at ease, is it because your anxiety lessens?  Your thoughts are less noisy?  You feel more belonging?  Maybe you notice you become more creative or are able to appreciate the moment more deeply.  Why is that?  Is your sensory perception more acute?  Are the thoughts more out-of-the-box?  Are you more concentrated?  How long does the benefit last?

And whatever benefits you notice, do they only come through intoxication, or do they come through other routes as well?  Maybe even routes without the side effects or that don’t wear off!?

Just get curious about your experience!  This is how wisdom grows!!

 

The Monk Story

I heard a story about my teacher, the Buddhist monk Sayadaw U Tejaniya, where one student was about to leave the monastery, and asked Sayadaw, “I’d like to go out drinking with my friends when I return home — what do you think?”

Sayadaw replied, “Okay, try it out, but pay close attention to your experience. Study the mind while you do it.”

A few days later, another student came to Sayadaw with nearly the same question, but this time he replied, “No, you should not do that.  It is a bad idea.”

Another student later went up to Sayadaw and said, “Why two different answers to the same question?”  He replied, “The first person had a strong practice. Their wisdom was sufficient that they could try it out, pay close attention, and learn for themselves that it wasn’t worth it.  However, the second person’s practice wasn’t so strong.  It would likely just lead to getting sucked back into an old habit.”

In the first scenario, when he said study the mind, he’s encouraging us to ask those sorts of questions I proposed in the prior section, especially noticing the contrast between sober and intoxicated.

In the second scenario, he’s saying to understand our weak spots and just abstain, as opposed to getting sucked into unskilfulness.  This is actually a huge act of wisdom!  In my life, there are some temptations that I don’t do well engaging with in moderation, like speed chess on the internet!  In turn, I just abstain altogether.  It’s easier that way.  My life feels more beautiful.

This is to say if you notice intoxicants cause trouble in your life, it’s probably best to exercise the wisdom of restraint, as opposed to the wisdom of subtle investigation.

 

Why The Buddha Didn’t Care For Intoxicants

I’ve mostly woven the reasons why throughout the preceding sections, but as a direct quote, the Buddha said that taking intoxicants leads to “the loss of wealth, increased quarreling, susceptibility to illness, disrepute, and weakening of wisdom.” 

He also emphasized how even though being intoxicated wasn’t unvirtuous or unethical in itself, it makes it significantly more likely to be unethical or careless in other ways.

We might also reflect that Buddhism is most deeply about clear seeing, truth, and wisdom.  When we are intoxicated, we see hazily rather than clearly.  It’s nearly impossible to enter into deeper wisdom when our presence is fuzzy.

In summary, the Buddha might say something like, “All the pleasure and benefit you can get through intoxicants, you can get elsewhere, in much deeper forms, and without any of the side effects.  So why even bother?”

 

Psychedelics: Medicine Or Intoxicant?

There is a way to take morphine as a medicine, like to make the pain bearable for a few days after surgery.  There is also a way to take morphine as an intoxicant, like popping a few pills at the club on a Friday night, in order to have a better time.

Similarly, during my college years, I used psychedelics recreationally, to have a good time, see some visions, laugh, and pass time with my friends.  Since those years, I have taken psychedelics “medicinally” maybe a dozen times, exclusively in spiritual ceremonies or held in a very intentional way with a strong container.

I found the recreational experiences to be of little value, but the “medicinal” ones to be generally helpful in healing emotional, psychological, or existential wounds.  For me, leaving those ceremonies, I haven’t been compelled to quickly turn around and take more psychedelics, but rather to more deeply prioritize my day-to-day spiritual practice. I could see the day when the desire drops off here too, but to this point, occasional intentional use has felt beneficial.

I can’t offer an “endorsement” of psychedelics, particularly as I have seen some people have rather traumatic experiences with them.  However, all the latest research matches my personal experience: if done with sufficient mental-emotional stability, proper dosing, in a safe container, and with experienced guides, it’s generally beneficial.  Note: that is a lot of if’s!

Importantly, I don’t see psychedelics as part of the Buddhist path.  I also don’t believe they are necessary for healing or growth.  In the same way, I don’t see therapy as part of the Buddhist path, or as necessary for growth and healing, but even so, therapy can sure be a helpful tool to heal and expand at times, which ultimately supports one’s spiritual path.  I see psychedelics like this.

Long story short, in my opinion, psychedelics can be supportive when used as a “medicine,” but it’s best to be extremely cautious and intentional about it.

To be fair to the Buddha, he would probably strongly disagree with me.  Similar to what I shared above, he would probably say, “Everything you can do on psychedelics, you can do through meditation, but without the side effects, and in a stable, enduring way in your day-to-day life.”

Probing deeper into “what is a medicine?”, a question I sometimes hear is, “Couldn’t alcohol, marijuana, Instagram, etc, be considered medicines?”  Maybe so — though my sense is psychedelics more easily lend themselves to “healing,” whereas alcohol and marijuana have felt to me more like painkillers that temporarily state-shift without offering enduring healing.

That being said, I have a friend who doesn’t use marijuana as a lifestyle, but sometimes takes it during her period to alleviate pain when the cramping gets really intense. This seems to me an appropriate use of medicine and way different than smoking recreationally.  Of course, this is just my limited perspective — explore it for yourself!

* As a note, not all psychedelics are created equal — some are more conducive to healing, and others to freaking out.  If you are inclined to experiment, thoroughly do your homework first.

** For more on the intersection of Buddhism and psychedelics, here’s a good article.

 

A One-Month Challenge

The Buddha’s precept on abstaining from intoxicants is a “guideline of the wise.”  The first time I did a one-month “alcohol fast,” the results were life-changing, although I also paired it with five hours of yoga a day, so that probably made a difference too!

Anyhow, the challenge is this: abstain from drugs and alcohol for one month and see what happens!

If you decide to take on this “experiment,” you’ll collect so much interesting data!  When is it hardest?  What feelings become more prominent in the absence of substances?  Do you lean on other habits as a replacement?  Does it impact your relationships?  What is made possible by the mind becoming clearer?  After the month, how strong is the desire?  How satisfying is the first drink afterward (if you decide to drink again)?

If you try it and backslide halfway through, just learn about that!

I encourage a spirit of playfulness as you experiment & build wisdom. Everything is a learning experience!

 

Conclusion

It is 100% possible to stop using intoxicants.  It’s one of the best life choices I’ve ever made.

And yet, even though I as well as the Buddha may seem to talk dismissively about intoxicants, I completely acknowledge they can be used responsibly.

Personally, I feel like those last few years I drank, I lived a fairly ethical life and was pretty responsible with my drinking.  I likewise have friends who are responsible, occasional drinkers/smokers.  They are wonderful human beings and I don’t think any lesser of them.  There is no need or requirement to abstain altogether.  So please don’t take today’s reflection as another way to judge yourself!

Mostly, I share my own discoveries, influenced by the Buddhist tradition, in the spirit of encouraging self-exploration.  May something in here instigate curiosity in you!

Deep well-being is possible, maybe even probable, when you embark on this path of discovery!

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